A Field of Daisies

Moving on........

2009-08-01T19:14:00.002-04:00

OK folks......get ready for a whole new me. Well maybe not a whole new me, but a new screen name and a new blog.

From now on I will be known as: a.soaring.turtle

And my new address will be: http://turtletoesoup.blogspot.com/

could it be an actual post? lol

2009-07-27T14:52:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in forever. I have been really busy (and tired) with dad. But he is doing amazingly better and hopefully will get to come home in a couple of weeks. He hasn't been home since March 16th! Whew! He has been through a lot and so have I.

I have been thinking about changing my screen name and starting another blog. Starting off fresh. After mom died I felt it was time to leave One Summers Day behind and I started Chasing The Wind. The AOL does what it does best and I am here at blogger. Don't worry, for the few of you that read me I will post a link to the new improved (?) me whenever I make the change. It could be awhile or it could be this week. Who knows?

Last week a local member of the Hell's Angels motorcycle club was murdered here. The funeral for him was this past Saturday (I think it was Saturday). He was buried in the same cemetery as my mom. Now don't get me wrong, I am sorry the man is dead, but you would not believe the traffic and all the cops that were out and about that day. If you were in traffic you had waits you wouldn't believe. Something like 500 motorcycles and 100 cars attended the funeral. City police, county police (sheriff's office) and state troopers were all out along the route from the funeral home (same one we used for mom, strange huh?) to the grave yard (which is about 2 miles or so from where I live). According to the news some regular people started gathering across the road from the cemetery to wait and watch the motorcycles, or was it really to watch the Hell's Angels? The funeral went off without any problems -- other than traffic. Now the police are left to figure out who murdered this guy in his own home.

Kathy

Sunday June 21 Father's Day

2009-06-21T18:10:00.003-04:00

Happy Father's Day to any dad's out there.

My daddy is doing really well. It's been a little over 13 weeks since his surgery. Hopefully he will be rehabbed enough to come home in a couple of weeks. Keep praying for that.

I am exhausted from taking care of dad's cats, house, bills, cars, visiting dad (at least twice a day), and making sure those that are supposed to be taking care of him are actually taking care of him. I don't like where he is now so I feel I must go as much as possible and raise a little Cain when I feel it is needed.

Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of my 39th birthday. Yup. Tomorrow it will have been a whole 10 years since I turned 39. Can ya believe it? Me neither.

Today, Sunday June 14

2009-06-14T19:02:00.002-04:00

Today I saw:

A rabbit beside my dad's house.

A robin with a worm in it's beak.

Cats sleeping in the walkway at a neighbor's house.

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-10T15:28:00.001-04:00

Saturday May 2nd

2009-05-02T19:30:00.000-04:00

I just needed to share this with someone.

For the past 2 days I would have sworn that dad said he wanted to die. Today I KNOW (because I repeated it back to him several times) what he was saying. He sad he wanted to die. That he prayed that God would take him and me -- the both of us. He said if I didn't love him he wouldn't be here now. I am not sure how to take that part. But he took my hand, squeezed it really hard and closed his eyes and said a prayer (at least that is what I think he was doing.) He asked me to bring my Bible and read it to him tomorrow.

The nurse said that a lot of people in ICU say they want to die because they have never been so sick before and just want it over with. Maybe that is dad's problem, but I feel he is really depressed and I am worried about him. The doctor has started dad on an antidepressant but who knows how long it will be before dad feels the effect from it.

I just don't know how to handle this. I told dad that he still has things to do here on earth. That I need him (but of course he is praying that God will take the both of us) and that Nina (his grand daughter) wants to get to know him and wants her kids to get to know him. But nothing I said did any good. I even said what would happen to our cats if we both died? That didn't impress him either. I had taken new pictures of 150 and Sara (his cats) in to him today and he started crying as soon as he saw the pictures.

So we are all crying here. It's what I do, I know.

Pray for daddy. This really bothers me -- the way he is talking.

Oh, and tomorrow is the first anniversary of mom's passing. Next weekend is Mother's Day too.

Kathy

Tax day 2009

2009-04-15T18:51:00.001-04:00

Great news! Dad's head CT scan didn't show anything! Well, there is a brain in there and it looks like there is a spot where he had a small stroke (so small he probably didn't notice it) that has been there for a little while. It isn't something new. Whew......that is a huge load off for me.

Now dad is still running a low fever and they aren't sure why exactly he has these twitches. Thoughts are that the twitches are coming from all that medicine working its way out of his system. He has been on a lot of medicine for quite a while. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks of him being in ICU. That's a long time.

Because of the low grade fever they are taking cultures from everyplace and anyplace that has a tube. Also because his central line has been in for 13 days the doctor wanted it taken out and a pic line put back into his left arm. The PA is the actual person I talked to. She said that they don't like to leave central lines in for too long because of a greater risk of infection.

So this is where we stand right now: Dad hasn't had anything to happen to his brain since being in the hospital. Blood pressure is under control with a drip. Low grade fever --so they are still culturing every possible thing to see where it might be coming from. The PA did mention maybe doing a test on his liver to make sure it was ok and holding up under all the medicines dad has been getting.

Baby steps. Good days and bad days. We are in this for a time to come it looks like. I am so hoping dad will make it home before summer but I am trying to stay in the moment (which is hard) get things taken care of and the live one day at a time thing.....

Keep those prayers going up for dad and me.

Tuesday April 21st

2009-04-14T17:28:00.001-04:00

Dad has been responding well to the feeding through the feeding tube. His blood pressure is still in a good range with medicine. His potassium is low so he is getting some potassium through his IV.

Today dad didn't do so well with the switch from the ventilator to CPAP, so they only left him on it for about an hour.

The last few days dad has done a lot of twitching, not responding to commands and it doesn't appear that he really sees anything when his eyes are open. Maybe he is but you can't tell it. He is easily startled. Because of all this one of the doctors decided to be on the safe side to have a head CT scan done. As of now (5:24pm eastern) the scan has been done but not yet read. I just have to wait for a doctor to call to say if anything showed up. I am so scared that something will be wrong. I pray that it will be ok and that there will be another reason -- maybe something real simple -- causing dad to act the way he is (or isn't).

Keep those prayers going up for dad and for me.

Easter 2009

2009-04-12T10:04:00.003-04:00

Easter is such a special time. To Christians it means so much. And to just about everyone it means family.

Easter came early last year. It was on March 31st. My parents were married on March 31, 1956 (I think that's the right year) and it was a year that Easter was early. Kind of strange that the last wedding anniversary my parents had together was also a year that Easter came early.

I am lousy with dates but I remember our friend Pamela died on a Easter Sunday a few years back.

This is my first Easter without mom, and to a certain extent without dad (he being in ICU and not really know what is going on). It's lonely. I should be in church but.........well all I got is excuses and they aren't even good ones.

My Uncle B called me this morning. He lives about 5 or 6 hours away. He wanted dad's doctor's names and numbers and the number to the nurse (and the password so she could talk to him). I was caught totally off guard and gave him what he wanted. Now I wonder why he wants to call the doctors and nurses. Doesn't he think I am telling him everything? Maybe he thinks I am too stupid to get information? I do admit that some information was given me several days late (like dad had pneumonia and one of the infections) but it wasn't information that I personally had to act on. Maybe the nurses thought the doctor told me or vice versa. Maybe I just need to figure out what the right questions to ask are and when to ask. I don't know. My Uncle B's heart is probably in the right place but it makes me feel bad. Like I can't take care of my dad. I can take care of him. So I am a little slow on getting some information.........This has really hurt my feelings. And don't tell me to tell Uncle Bill that he hurt my feelings. I can't do that. He is my dad's older brother and I don't want to start a family riff. Not now anyways.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend. Stay safe. Don't eat too many candy Easter eggs.

Tammy's Mom Has Died

2009-04-11T15:02:00.002-04:00

Tammy's mom passed this past Sunday. Although she knew this was coming it doesn't make it any easier.
Please drop by and leave her some love.

http://tammy-downhome.blogspot.com/

Saturday April 11th

2009-04-11T13:34:00.002-04:00

Went to see dad today and managed to talk to one of his doctors (yeah, he has like 3 I think). Dad is doing better. They have stopped the sedation however what he gets for pain does have some sedating effect.

Dad is awake but not totally there yet. Sometimes he will follow commands and other times he won't. Dr F said this is normal. That it will take awhile for all that sedation to work out of his system.

In the meantime if you touch dad or talk to him it startles him and his blood pressure shoots WAY up. It comes back down but still......

They are slowing trying to ween dad off the ventilator. They switch it to something called CPAP for several hours twice a day. Today they are starting to cut even the CPAP off and hook oxygen up to his trachea for an hour to see how it goes.

Dr F says it will be a long process to get dad off the vent and all (or most) of his medicines, and to work on his nutrition and get his strength back. Oh and it could take a while for his mental state to get back to normal.

Here's what is hard for me. All this could takes weeks or even months. Dad will probably have to go to a rehab center before he will be able to come home. In the mean time.........I go to his house 2x a day to feed his cats, have to get his car and truck inspected plus drive them some to keep the battery working (I haven't done this and had to call someone to jump start dad's car), dad got a letter from his homeowner's insurance saying there is a small crack in the foundation of his house and it has to be fixed before they can renew the insurance.

Oh, my roof has a leak. Not exactly sure where or what to do about it. I don't know who to call to fix it. I don't know diddly squat.

There is so much to do and handle. And I don't have any help. My brother lives out of town and even if he didn't he is no use. It's like I have no brother. Dad's friends offer to help me but I can't ask them for too much. T is sick and rarely leaves his house and M's wife is sick. My rock is Aunt Betty (she leaves 45 minutes or so away) and she is in the hospital now with pneumonia so I can't call and dump on her.

So it's just me. I don't know how much more I can handle. I am tired. I am having to take more and more of my anxiety medicine and I know I can't get it refilled early so I don't know what I'll do when I run out.

I am slowly falling apart. I have no one to turn to.

My dad is very, very sick

2009-04-02T13:05:00.000-04:00

Dad had emergency surgery last night because part of his bowel started coming out of the wound. While in surgery they also took the ventilator out and put in a trachea.

Today: dad is running a fever of about 102. He has some super bacterial infection in his lungs. They are giving him 4 different kinds of antibiotics for it. His blood pressure is low. Higher than it was last night but still really low. His heart is beating fast. They are giving him medications for all that. Last night dad tried to pull his trachea tube out so they had to restrain his hands.

Today: They are putting in an arterial line (this goes into the under side of your wrist into the artery) this will help them keep a better eye on his blood pressure and they can use it to draw blood gases without having to keep sticking him with needles. Because of all the IV's they are giving him they are putting in a central line. This goes in his neck some how. They will probably take the pick line out of his arm.

Before I left the hospital I talked to dad's surgeon and to the ICU doctor about dad. They say he is very sick. When he did surgery last night they all saw a very little bit of healing in dad's wound. Doctor said some people heal great and others just don't want to heal.

Both doctors agreed that as of right now dad has a 50/50 chance of making it. He needs to show some improvement by the weekend or the first of next week. If he doesn't then they will have to reassess the situation.

The doctor told me I needed to take care of myself and not let this get to me. He said it would if I didn't do things to take better care of myself. He said dad is unconscious and he and the nurses are taking care of him. He said I needed to leave the hospital for a while, in fact to stay away for a day or two. I need to let them take care of him now and me take care of me so when/if he gets better I will be able to take care of him.

Keep those prayers going up for daddy and me. I need him. I can't lose him yet. I can't.

Kathy

More on Dad

2009-03-31T16:14:00.001-04:00

Monday 3-30-09

Where to start?

Yesterday they did another breathing test on dad. They basically had him breathing on his own for about 3 hours. The test was supposed to have lasted only 2 hours so I don't know why they let it go so long. Three hours sounds good but....when I went in to see him today they had his oxygen up to 50% AND they upped the PEEP back up to 8. So it sounds like the 3 hours was too long and really wore him out.

Today instead of doing the same breathing test they are trying something different. He has been sedated ever since his surgery so today they are stopping the sedation (but keeping the vent as is) to see how he does on the vent while awake. The reason for this is to try to do away with any unnecessary medicine. It would be better for dad to do away with the sedation IF he doesn't get too upset or agitated. The nurse said it could tomorrow or longer before the effects of the sedation totally wear off. When I left the hospital his eyes were open but he wasn't responding to me. I just called the hospital and his nurse said he is trying to squeeze her hand and wiggle his toes.

And some bad news. Well I guess it isn't real bad considering how things are going. They scanned both of dad's arms because of all the swelling. A DVT which is a type of blood clot. It is at or close to where dad's PIC Line is in his upper right arm. I had to give permission for them to take it out and put another one in in his left arm. They are giving dad some blood thinners and the fact that he isn't moving around the nurse sounds optimistic that there shouldn't be any problems. She said it isn't unusual for this to happen. I am taking her word for it. I have to. If you read about DVT you will worry yourself to death. I am trying to be cautiously optimist about everything.

Keep those prayers going up for daddy and me.

Kathy

[maybe the blodclot is why dad's right hand is so very swollen? that with all the fluid retention?]

Tuesday 3-31-09

I am not sure where to start, I was under the impression that when they stopped the sedation yesterday and woke dad up that they would keep him awake. However when I called late last night to check up on him he had be sedated again. The nurse said that she looked up the protocol and it said that he should be sedated again. I don't understand this. I know that he was getting agitated but that was probably because he was in pain.

Today as I was leaving dad's surgeon walked by. I asked him how dad was doing and he said dad is just fine. I asked about the trachea and Dr B said yes they were going to do that this Thursday or Friday. I asked if he was going to do the surgery he said he had planned on it but "they" had called in another surgeon. I asked who and it was someone I have never heard of so I asked Dr B why couldn't he do the surgery. Dr B said if I want him to do the surgery he would do it so I said yes. I like Dr B.

After I got home I started thinking about it......."they" had already called in another surgeon to do a surgery that I haven't given them permission to do. So at the last moment they would say sign here and oh by the way this is the surgeon we chose for you? That makes me mad.

Dr B did say the surgery was kind of complicated --- getting the tube out of his mouth and throat and getting it back in through dad's neck. I guess that it means there may be period of time that keeping him breathing may be a little tricky. I asked Dr B that there wasn't anything that could go wrong that he couldn't fix and he said "you want me to make promises that I just can't make."

I think that's all that is new. If I think of something else I will post it later.

Keep those prayers going up for me and daddy.

Kathy

Updates on Dad

2009-03-26T18:19:00.002-04:00

These are copied over from a blog I started for my dad's side of the family.

March 21

No news is good news? I don't think I believe that.

Yesterday I was told they would try again today to get dad off the vent. Now they tell me they won't try today. Something about the numbers on the vent. It is at 10 and needs to be about a 5 before they can try again. Right now every time they lower the number something falls and they have to up it back again. I know I am not explaining this well. It all sounded good when I was told but now it's all a blur.

I don't care for the respiratory therapist guy at all. He gave me nothing to feel good about (the one during the week was more optimistic).

I called the surgeon who is working with another doctor with dad and he said they both agree that everything is going ok. Don't worry. Dad will be fine.

Dad's sister Betty came to town to visit dad (she lives about an hour away and had to wait until her daughter could bring her). Aunt Betty always says it will be ok and not to worry. She tells me to rest as much as I can because I won't be able to later. I love my Aunt Betty so much.

So there you go. Dad is ok 'cept for the fact he is on a vent. Bad news is they are having trouble getting him off the vent. I worry. I worry so very much. I don't want to lose dad now. I can't. Mom hasn't been dead a year yet.

Keep the prayers coming.

Kathy

To catch you up on what I know and what I understand. Even though the nurses tell me and explain things to me I just can't seem to explain it to anyone else. So bear with me.

Dad is still on the vent. To try to GET OFF the vent: The vent is starts at a setting of 10. It needs be be at least a 5 (or lower). Also the oxygen starts at 100 and needs to be around 50.

Right now dad's vent (or PEEP as the machine says) is at an 8. Yesterday they got him down to a 7 but overnight had to raise it up again.

The oxygen number they are watching is down to 60. This is good. But it needs to be lower.

They put a tube down dad's nose to suction out any air and stomach acids that have been building up.

The doctor told me the other day they were not going to start giving dad any nutrition as he believed dad would be off the vent in a few days.

Today when I went in for a visit the nurse said they are starting the nutrition today. This will go in by IV instead of directly into his stomach.

Dad's heart, blood pressure, and everything they watch is doing fine. His lungs just aren't ready to work on their own yet.

Kathy

I went to see dad this morning.

Dad is basically the same. The "PEEP" number that had gotten down to 7 at one point is back up to 10 now. It needs to get down to a 5.

Dad's blood pressure has been high but that is nothing new as he was on meds at home for it. While he has been in the hospital they haven't been giving him anything for it. Until today. Today they are starting to give him something for it, I don't know what the medicine is but he will be getting it twice a day.

The nurse said that his blood pressure went down while I was in there with him. So even though he is sedated maybe he can hear me. Because he is sedated I have only been going to the hospital once a day but if my being there helps his blood pressure to lower I will be spending more time there.

I wish I could explain more about the machines and the numbers and all but I can't. Dad is hooked up to several things, most importantly the ventilator. It is easier to talk about dad being on a vent than to say.......gosh.....it's even hard to type........it's hard to say that dad is on life support. There I said it/typed it.

It was last March (3/13/08) that we found out mom had cancer and was going to die. She passed on May 3, 2008. Dad got sick on March the 16th of this year. It is hard enough to have him sick, it is hard enough that this time last year we were losing mom......but now to have dad sick during the same time mom was.........it's hard. It's really hard.

Keep the prayers going up. Dad and I both need them.

Kathy

I should have updated last night but I was just too tired. Please forgive me.

Yesterday morning dad was about the same. And when I went back after lunch he seemed about the same. But before I could leave the hospital his nurse called me on my cell phone to say they needed me to come back to sign a consent form.......he needed to go back to surgery. This totally freaked me out. I make a mad dash back to ICU........

The nurse said that the incision from his surgery was opening up (he had been stapled) and he needed to go back into surgery to get that fixed. Then I got a call from the doctor asking for permission to put in a feeding tube while dad was in surgery. This freaked me out even more.

Dad was in surgery less than an hour. The doctor opened up the old incision cleaned everything up again and put in/on something called "mesh". This means that dad basically has an open wound and they are going to let it heal from the inside out. A feeding tube was also placed into dad's stomach.

After the surgery the doctor came to talk to me. Dr B says there is no reason why dad won't walk out of the hospital in great shape, as long as that is what dad wants to do. I then told the doctor that I didn't know if dad had the will to live. It hasn't been a year since mom died and I know he misses her so much. The doctor said that if dad wants to die he will die. Dr B said that the mind is a powerful thing. If dad has the will to live he will, but if not he will die.

I told the doctor that we found out last March 13th that mom had cancer and would die and that she passed less than 2 months later on May 3rd (which happens to be Dr B's wedding anniversary). And that this year I brought dad into the ER on March 16th.

While I thought I had given this information to the doctor before he said he didn't know. But he was glad I told him because that was information that he needed to know. Dr B said we really wouldn't know about dad's will to live until we get him off the vent. And thanks to yesterday's surgery it will be another couple of days before they can try to get dad off the vent.

::sigh::

We working and getting some baby steps forward and now we are basically to square one. It feels like we are a little behind the square. Like we have to take a few steps to get up to square one.

Keeping praying for daddy and me.

Kathy

Just got home from seeing dad this morning. He is....well about the same.

Dad started running a slight fever last night but evidently that was expected.

Today I found out that they have been testing dad's sugar every 4 hours. Didn't know they were doing that. While I was there it was something like 174 which is high but not really high. The nurse said it could be coming from all the stress on his body and the nutrition that has been going into his IV's. Nothing to worry about at this time.

The vent. I am learning more and more and my brain is finally starting to grasp some of what the numbers are and mean. The oxygen setting on the vent is how much oxygen he is getting from it. The lower the number means he is getting less from the machine and more on his on. That is why that number needs to go down from 100 to 50 or 40. There is another machine that measures how much oxygen is going through his body. You have probably had it done to you, that little white thing they clip on one of your fingertips? The higher the number on that machine the better. Dad is at around 92 or so right now.

I'm still struggling to remember what the "PEEP" is but I think it is the moisture in his lungs. I'll look it up on line sometime.

You are up to date on dad for now. Any changes or if I just feel a need to get stuff off my chest I will be sure to post here.

Keep the prayers going up.

Kathy

If dad is in the hospital long enough I may learn enough to be able to explain some things to you. I was talking to his nurse this afternoon and got information in a way that I kind of understand.

Oxygen. We need it to live. If you healthy you are breathing in something like 25% oxygen. Dad being on the ventilator they started him out 100% oxygen. The goal is to get that number down to 50% or better 40% oxygen. I think that's right. That is what I understood the nurse to say.

Now I have to get a better grip on that "PEEP" thing. I wasn't going to do research on the internet -- afraid I'd find out stuff I don't want to know -- but I am heading that way I think. The more I understand the more I will share with you.

Keep those prayers going up.

Kathy

Dad is still running a low grade fever. They took some cultures yesterday to see what may be causing the fever. The good news is that the fever isn't spiking and is currently just below 100.

All of dad's vital signs are good. It is just a matter of getting him off the ventilator. And that may take a little while. We just don't know.

(click on the highlighted words to go to another site to read about the term.)

PEEP positive end-expiratory pressure

Diverticulitis

Diverticulitis surgery

Colostomy

medical ventilator

**note** looking up anything medical can be overwhelming and it gets you to thinking way too much about all that can go wrong. I am sure there are sites that explain the above terms better these are just what I found and thought were good information.

Kathy

PEEP -- the nurse explained it this way.....or at least the is the way I understood it.....

When you exhale you are forcing the air out of your lungs. With the PEEP it forces a puff of air into the lungs when you exhale to keep the lungs from collapsing. Makes since. Sort of like the CPAP machine dad uses at night for his sleep apnea.

The higher the setting on the ventilator the more air it forces into the lungs? I am guessing this. Because the doctor wants the PEEP number to be as low as possible. It starts out at at setting of 10 and they want it to be at around a 5 or less before they try to take dad off the ventilator.

I'm finally "getting" some of this.

Kathy

Dad's fever is down a little.

The settings on the ventilator are going down (this is a good thing). Oxygen is at 50% and the "PEEP" setting has been lowered to a setting of 8.

Keep those prayers going up!!!

Kathy

update number ????

2009-03-20T17:29:00.002-04:00

Dad is still in ICU.

They tried to take dad off the vent earlier today but it didn't work. Dad was so agitated and they couldn't calm him down so they had to sedate him again. They were going to try again this afternoon but decided to wait until tomorrow. The nurse said I could be there when they try, that sometimes having family there helps to calm the patient so they can get the vent out. So I will call tomorrow morning to see when they are going to do it and try to get over there in time. Hopefully I can talk to dad and keep him calm enough for them to do whatever needs to be done.

Pete (the nurse -- and a really cute one!) said he couldn't blame dad for being upset --- waking up with something down your throat and strange people all around you. Guess that would be freaky.

Keep the prayers going up. We need to get dad off that vent!!

Kathy

another update on dad

2009-03-19T11:55:00.000-04:00

Dad had surgery early this morning. The doctor said that he was "filled with puss" and he had no choice but to attach the "bag" for dad to use for at least a couple months. Because my dad has some breathing problems and sleep apnea the doctor put him in ICU until tomorrow morning so they could keep a better eye on him. That makes me feel much better. I haven't seen dad yet (since the operation) but will be going back later today to visit him. He needs his rest and I think they are pretty strict with visiting in ICU.

update on my dad

2009-03-18T14:32:00.002-04:00

Surgery is set for tomorrow morning at 7AM. They will be removing part of his intestine and attach the bag for his bowels to empty into. He will have the bag for a couple of months and then go back for another surgery to remove it and fix everything. Dad should be in the hospital for about 5 days after the surgery.

I am hoping and praying that all will go well. Dad is 72 years old and this is the first major surgery he has ever had.

I've never had to play nurse with dad so I don't know what to expect when he gets home. Hopefully it will be ok and he will do what the doctor says.

Kathy

Dad is in the hospital

2009-03-17T12:15:00.003-04:00

:::sigh:::

Dad called me yesterday afternoon to say he was in a lot of pain and would I come stay with him for awhile. Long story short......he ended up in the ER late yesterday afternoon.........after hours and tons of test........Dad has diverticulitis and it has an abscess (an infection of sorts). The doctor is hoping to treat it with antibiotics.......but the doctor keeps mentioning surgery.......which would mean have a colostomy bag for a while........the doctor told me to call him this afternoon (after he looks at dad's x rays again) and he will let me know for sure about the surgery. IF there is to be surgery it could be Friday or as early as Thursday.

Dad has never had major surgery before. I don't know how this will effect him.......I don't know how much help he will need recovering at home.......I don't know if I can take care of him at home........

Prayers for the both of us would be great. Prayers for the doctor (surgeon) would be good too.

I'll be around........in and out......gotta feed dad's cats twice a day......

God only gives you what you can handle.......why is he trusting me so much? Didn't he find out how much I can handle when mom was sick?

Kathy

March 13 2009 Friday

2009-03-13T17:40:00.002-04:00

Someone asked if I could do away with the verification code when you leave a comment. I agree that sometimes they are hard to read so I changed the setting. At least I think I did. If I have any problems I can always change it back.

One year ago today mom was in the hospital and we got the news that she had cancer and was going to die soon. She lived less than 2 months......50 days to be exact. It is still hard to believe that she is gone. I catch myself from time to time reaching for the phone to call and tell her something. It still seems like she is going to call me.

I ran into someone that didn't know mom had passed. When I told her that she had passed and it was lung cancer the FIRST thing this person said was: She smoked didn't she? And you know what? That totally pissed me off. Yes mom smoked. But by asking that question it was like she was saying: so she did it to herself -- her own fault she died. No she didn't say that but that is how I took it. If she had died of breast cancer or brain tumor no questions would have been asked. And not everyone that gets lung cancer smoked. There are other ways to "get" lung cancer. Trust me there are other ways. So PLEASE if you ever want to ask someone about their loved one having smoked PLEASE DON'T. I don't think it should matter -- especially since that person has passed.

And FYI: talking to a doctor about quitting smoking and getting lung cancer.....If you have smoked and then quit you could still can't breathe a sigh of relief until you are smoke free for 5 years. (Mom had been smoke free for close to 2 years.) So I guess the doctor was saying that a little cancer cell could be there waiting to get big enough for a diagnosis. After 5 years you can be reasonably sure that there isn't any cancer cells sitting and waiting to grow. Also some people are like my mom and NEVER show any symptoms and it was a freak thing that mom was diagnosed when she was. Had she not been "lucky" enough to be diagnosed when she was it probably wouldn't have been until she was in so much pain that we would have next to no time to "get ready" for her to pass.

Kathy

Look below

2009-03-03T11:02:00.003-05:00

I added a new gadget to my blog. Down at the very bottom. Scroll all the way down. Let me know if you like it. It looked funny on the side of my blog so I put it at the bottom. The word is supposed to change.

Hello

2009-03-03T10:46:00.002-05:00

You may not believe it but I do surf around from blog to blog -- from time to time. I just haven't left many comments.

You have to check out this photo. I'll just post the link because I don't want to get in trouble for posting something that could be copyrighted. Dreamy the Dormouse I believe this to be a real photo and not photo shopped -- but in today's world who knows? It is this teeny, teeny tiny mouse asleep on a rose. You MUST click and see it. It will make you smile.

For reasons I am not sure of my dad decided last week to get me a new computer. YAY. It is a HP and has Windows Vista (of course). I have been having some problems trying to figure out how to move stuff from my old computer and how the heck to use Vista. But I am slowly learning with help from online friends...such as Guido. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new monitor, it's 19 inch -- way bigger than my old one.

My old computer? Well I thought about keeping it as a back up, about giving it to dad so he could play games and such. But Dad suggested we give it to my Aunt Betty. So Aunt Betty is getting it. I have emailed her daughter who said that Aunt Betty always told her NO to getting a computer but is now looking forward to getting my old one.

I have uploaded some games on my old computer so Aunt Betty would have something to do while she decides what she wants to do on the computer. I wanted to take it to her today but we had snow late Sunday early Monday and some of the roads are still messy. Aunt Betty lives about 45 minutes away so I figure it's best to wait a few more days because she lives on some back roads and they may be yucky too.

knock knock......anyone there?

2009-02-21T10:51:00.002-05:00

When I saw this drawing I thought of Russ. But I think everyone will enjoy it. Is it a frog? No.....wait.....watch.......is it a horse?......maybe both?

Cool huh? Don't ya just hate talented people? I'm kidding. I'm just jealous.

After spending time surfing some craft journals I have decided that I really want to get back into scrapbooking and I want to try my hand at making jewelry. I went to A C Moore and got some beads and stuff and have made a couple of bracelets. But I need to learn how to add clasps so I can make a necklace, maybe even a pair of earrings...... Oh, I want to try doing the "altered" book, tins, etc... thing. Such grand ideas I have have. Such a small amount of $$$ to spend. And I don't know just how creative my little brain can be. We'll see.......

More posts over at Wildflowers. Even a poem by my favorite poet Edgar A Guest.

Have a great weekend.

Today's mail!!

2009-02-17T16:27:00.002-05:00

I told you guys that I entered and won some prizes in the One World One Heart blog giveaways. Well some of my prizes came today! So glad I entered so many blogs!

My pictures do not do justice to the beautiful work of these artist. So if you click on a picture it will take you to the artist's blog and their pictures of what I won. Trust me their photos are better than mine!

Trust me this is BEAUTIFUL in person! Click on the photo to see the better photo and the blog of the person that took the photo:

Again these are really pretty in person.
Click the photo to go to Mary's place and see
how beautiful they really are.

I tried really hard to get these photos to come
out really good, but I am not good with the camera.
Poor Owl Man is so blurry and the earrings
are kinda stretched in the photo for some reason.
Click on them and go to SpiritMama's to see what they really look like:

All of these artist have a store front at Etsy, well Martie's store is at Zenfolio. For the Etsy links go to their blog for a direct link.

That's it for now. Be back soon. I hope.

Valentine's Day 2009

2009-02-14T10:51:00.004-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Hope your weekend is going ok.

One of my neighbors (that I have never met) who is 26 years old and is the lowest form of human life, the sorriest of the sorry, worse than the worse, sh@# of the sh@#est, oh yeah I went there and called him some really horrible stuff. I read in the newspaper he was arrested this week. So? He was arrested for sexually assaulting a 4 year old girl. A FOUR (that's right...4 years old) YEAR OLD GIRL! He should be shot. And there are little kids on this street! He "assaulted" a girl in a small town close by here, but it could have easily been any little girl.

On another note.....

I have been missing my mom's cooking. So I decided to try to make a pot roast or beef stew whatever you want to call it. I got a really small crock pot from dad's house to use. I got some beef that was already cut up in chunks, some potatoes, carrots and canned soup. Put everything in the pot yesterday ('cept for the carrots I had that small crock pot way too full). The crock pot has only 1 temperature to cook at.....either on or off.....so I left it until a few hours ago to cook. Looks great. I forgot to add the carrots before I took it out of the crock pot. Oh well......I don't really care for carrots anyway.....I haven't tasted it yet. I sure hope it turned out ok. It won't be like mom's (I left a few things out......and even if I made it exactly like hers it still wouldn't taste as good). I am really proud of myself for giving it a shot. Cooking isn't my thing.

And because it is Valentine's day here is a kissy kiss picture for you:

I'm a winner!!! Yay!

2009-02-12T17:09:00.002-05:00

There was a blog giveaway and I won some stuff! WOO HOO

Check out these blogs to see what I have won, and to see some really talented people's crafts.

Mary Harding Jewelry Bead Blog

Spirit Mama Art and Soul

Dragonlady

Martie's Place

For a list of all the blogs that gave something away during this event go here: One World One Heart I love the stuff these people are making. Hopefully I will order some stuff from their Esty store fronts in the future.

If you are crafty you will love the blogs. If you aren't crafty you will want to be after seeing all the great stuff that you can make! I so want to try beading and altered tins......

Dad is ok!

2009-02-12T16:56:00.002-05:00

Great news. It wasn't Dad's heart! After spending the night in the hospital we went to the cardiologist's office Wednesday and they did the treadmill test and some others. Everything with his heart showed up ok. The more we talked to the doctor the more I realized Dad's "spell" was a lot like MY panic attacks. I mentioned it to the doctor and he said it was a possibility. He wouldn't rule it out but won't say it was that for sure.

While at the hospital Dad's blood pressure went up and down. It got really high at one point. The cardiologist said that the medicine Dad was on for his cholesterol was supposed to be taken 2 hours before (or 4 hours after) taking any other medicine. Say what? No one told us. So it could be interfering with Dad's blood pressure medicines. Great. The cardiologist is going to talk to Dad's regular doctor about changing some of the medicines. I have to call and get Dad an appointment next week with his regular doctor so we can get things straightened out.

Whew......so glad it wasn't Dad's heart. Anxiety and panic attacks makes a lot of since because in a couple of weeks would have been mom's birthday (her first since she has passed), March would have been their 53rd wedding anniversary, and May the 1st anniversary of mom's death. Plus Valentines is this weekend. That's a lot of stuff at one time.

Dad's ill

2009-02-10T18:40:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone.

Today has been a long day.

Dad and I went to breakfast and then went to do a little shopping.

Dad got sick. He got really dizzy and I had to hold him to keep him from hitting the floor. He got really sick and thought he would throw up (but he didn't). He broke out into a sweat.

The store got a wheelchair and helped me get him to the car. I took him straight to the ER. They ran a few tests and said they weren't sure what happened (this happened back in 1991 and he had blockage in an artery and had to have it cleaned out). They are keeping him overnight for observation and if everything seem ok he will come home tomorrow and we will set up an appointment with a cardiologist to have him take the treadmill test.

After I left the ER (was there from about 11:30 AM to 6:00 pm) I went to feed dad's cats and have just now made it home. I am so tired. I am worried about dad. I think I worry a lot more now that mom has passed. I can't lose him now. Not yet.

I'll tell you more when I know. Pray for us.

Bongo

2009-02-06T19:39:00.002-05:00

Toonguy aka Russ is dealing with the death of his beloved dog Bongo. Bongo was getting old (in dog years) and having problems. Russ was to take and have him put to sleep......but Bongo died at home before they could get him to the vet.

Russ and his partner are really suffering over this. You know it has hardly been a year since Russ' mother passed away.

For those of you with pets I am sure you can understand what he is going through right now. How about stopping and leaving some hugs for Russ? He's here: Inner and Outer Demons 2

Kathy

Tammy needs us

2009-02-06T19:33:00.003-05:00

I'm sure a lot of you know Tammy. For those of you that don't........please visit and leave some prayers and love for her. Tammy's mom has cancer and won't be with her much longer. Hospice has been called in. Tammy lives with her mom and is having a hard time with the thoughts of losing her mom as well as taking care of her mother. Tammy is disabled herself so this is an extra strain on her physically as well as mentally. Click to go to her journal: Down Home

Kathy

Three new posts

2009-02-03T18:24:00.000-05:00

Over there: Wildflowers
Go now. Read. Feel good.

The first of the season

2009-02-03T18:07:00.003-05:00

It has finally happened. Well it happened a tad the other week, but this might really be it.

What?

It's finally SNOWING in my part of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so pretty. The ground is already covered and it is still coming down. Driving is horrible because the snow is coming down so hard.

Ok I know that some of you have had tons of snow and are pretty sick of it by now. But we don't get snow often, mostly we get ice storms.

But this evening we have beautiful snow. No rain, no ice, just beautiful snow. WOO HOO

A Rare Photo

2009-02-02T16:42:00.002-05:00

Getting both of my cats in one photo is really hard. As soon as the above photo was snapped Sophie got up and ran.

Sophie is the long haired one (on the left if you can't tell) and Maggie is the short haired beauty on the right. Both were adopted from the local animal shelter -- about a year or so apart --.

Aren't they beautiful? Or am I just a proud fur mom?

I am on long term disability from my job as some of you know. The insurance company that handles the insurance has changed (again) so I have to fill out more paperwork and get my doctor to fill out more. My doctor won't fill out the papers unless I am there with him, so that means another $80 office visit. He isn't on my health insurance list of providers so I have to pay the entire amount. I so hate this.

Dad seems to be doing pretty good on the Aricept. He doesn't seem to be as forgetful. Or maybe it's me hoping he isn't. He goes back to the doctor this week so we will see how it goes.

Aunt Betty HATES cats. But she is cat sitting for one of her grandchildren whose house got flooded. I think the cat is starting to grow on her. The cat is sleeping with her and I can just see it in Aunt Betty's face that she likes it.

The last day of January? Where is the year going?

2009-01-31T11:10:00.003-05:00

(I made the above little graphic! The first for
me. I did it with a freebie scrapbooking kit I
found online.)

The lady that called me yesterday never called back. Yay!

I need to get some of my links from paper to my links journal. It's good for you and good for me to get stuff in one spot. Until I get that done I do have a link to share with you for today. I think it is worth going and looking around. Thriftyfun.com You will notice if you click on a category it will give sub-categories, look carefully and you will see it gives a "link" page for that subject also. Cool.

Dad and I are still having our "moments" when we just can't get along no matter how hard we each try. Looking back it is so funny some of the things we can get into huge arguments over. I talked to Aunt Betty (dad's sister) she is a great sounding board -- wish she lived here in town though. She gives me the encouragement I need and the little talk with dad that he needs from time to time.

Did I tell you that we had dad's cat 150 (weird name I know) fixed? The vet said we got her just in time as her uterus was starting to enlarge. So that means either 150 is a tad older than we thought or she was going to "mature" a tad early. Doesn't matter. She has calmed down a little and doesn't bother Sara (the other cat) as bad as she did before. Sara loves that.

Really? Maybe not.

2009-01-30T15:12:00.002-05:00

Had a very strange message on my answering machine today.

Some lady called to say she had just got HER package from Pottery Barn and IN IT was an Amazon package ADDRESSED to ME! She wants me to call her back and arrange for a time and place to get my package.

First: WEIRD
Second: How did she get my UNLISTED/UNPUBLISHED phone number
Third: I am sure Amazon and Pottery Barn don't use the same warehouse.
Fourth: I don't have any outstanding shipments from Amazon (or anywhere) -- I double checked my account online AND I called customer service.

So everyone, what do you think? Some kind of weird scam? I don't know. I have decided not to return the call and if she calls me back to tell her to put the package in a mailbox and send it back to Amazon.

Ideas anyone?

Dad

2009-01-28T17:02:00.002-05:00

Dad. Bless his heart, he is driving me crazy. Which he has every right to do -- I guess.

He is depressed. I know this because I have been there. Will he admit it? No. He refuses. He even gets upset when I mention it to him.

Every time I think I have dad "settled" and no medical problems something seems to come up. Now he really isn't eating. He eats breakfast and then nothing the rest of the day. A few days a week he and I will go out for lunch but he eats hardly anything because he says he is full. Dad gets really upset when I mention him eating. I have never known him not to eat. My mom used to say she wasn't hungry but would eat 3 meals a day (or at least try to). Dad says he is full. He is still full from eating breakfast. I don't get this. If he would say he isn't hungry is one thing, but to keep saying he is full just seems wrong.

Dad goes back to the doctor next week (I think) for a routine visit and to see how he is doing on his new med. I will mention it to the doctor. Dad will get upset with me I am sure.

Me? I'm ok. I had a bone density test yesterday. Everything was great. My spine is above the "normal" they want you at. My hips are in the middle of "normal". Because mom had osteoporosis and I am pretty sure her mom did the doctor wants me to get bone scans every 3 years for now.

My yearly mammogram is this Friday. So looking forward to being mashed, mushed, crushed......LOL

Wednesday the 28th

2009-01-28T16:52:00.002-05:00

Some new posts over at Wildflowers. See I didn't forget that blog. And I haven't forgotten about the link blog either. Hopefully I will get some links posted over there soon.

I notice someone following my Wildflowers blog that I didn't recognize. So I clicked over to her place and found this wonderful post. Check it out. I haven't read the rest of the blog: The Creative Place.

I'm still alive!

2009-01-19T14:46:00.002-05:00

Hello there.

Thanks Bill for the comment. Sorry that I have been gone for so long.

Dad's CT scan didn't show anything other than an old brain. LOL Just normal stuff. Nothing to worry about. The doctor did put him on Aricept (did I spell that right?) to help prevent -- or cut down on future memory loss. This is good. I don't know what I'll do if dad gets to the point he can't stay by himself.

Unless we get the snow they are calling for (which I doubt we will. it's way to warm for the white stuff) we'll be taking dad's cat (the one named 150) to the vet tomorrow to get her "fixed". We don't know exactly hold old she is but dad has had here around 5 months and since cats can go into "heat" between 4 and 6 months I told him we better hurry!! If you have ever been around a cat that is in heat you will totally understand.

My brother did call my dad about 2 weeks ago. But when he called dad wasn't home and so he didn't leave a message. Dad has one of those phones that keeps a log of all the incoming/outgoing calls and he checks it ever so often and he saw my brother's name on there. He called bro and my brother acted like nothing ever happened. Bro called dad back about a week later to tell him that they had moved and now he has a personal cell phone (he was using his work cell all the time) and gave dad that number. It's all totally strange. If mom were still here I guarantee you he wouldn't have called to give his new address or phone number (we didn't know his last address until he had been there for a few years). Weird.

I went to my GYN the other week, he ran a blood test on my vitamin D and said it was low so I am having to take more suppliments. I go next week for a mamogramn and for a bone density test.

Saw my medical doctor last week. Everything looks fine. Waiting on the results of blood work to come back. I think all will be ok. I still don't check my sugar as often as I should but it's good when I check it and I am pretty careful with what I eat. Haven't got back to exercising yet. The stationary bike mom bought me last January is sitting behind me waiting to be used.

Hello, dad, and fire alarm

2008-12-26T15:55:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone.

Christmas was ok. It was as bad as I thought it would be. Dad and I watched a movie and had lunch together. It was nice.

Dad goes this coming Tuesday for a CT Scan on his head. I couldn't get him in to see his doctor until this past Wednesday. I was telling the doctor all that I had noticed with dad and Dr G asked dad a few questions (and I discovered dad was having problems with his vision from time to time) and it was decided to get dad a CT scan to make sure he hasn't had any strokes or anything else going on.

While we were talking to the doctor the fire alarm went off! Nurses were getting everyone out of the building (and a predetermined distance from the building) while the doctors were trying to figure out what was going on. In less than 5 minutes we found out. A 4 year old had pulled the alarm! (So glad I'm not his mom!) The head nurse was soooooo mad. If she could have done something to that kid and gotten away with it I think she would have. LOL

Hope everyone is doing ok. I haven't been around reading journals. Sorry. Just too much on my mind. Hopefully after I get dad through the scan and reading of said scan, and the holidays over I will be up to reading more.

Love,

Dad

2008-12-17T18:15:00.002-05:00

I have known that something hasn't been quite right with my dad for a few weeks now (or maybe longer), but today he calls me and he sounded worried. He couldn't remember if he ate today, we ate out breakfast and lunch and he didn't know what he had ate. He says that he can't remember things and something just isn't right with his thinking. What he feels "isn't right" I don't know. He can't seem to explain it.

I told him we need to call the doctor and see if he can run a test on his brain. Dad got so upset at that for some reason. I told him that I meant maybe they need to check to see if he has had a small stroke or maybe one of his meds needs changing. I told him I would call his doctor tomorrow and make an appointment. He just said "whatever".

Dad also acting like a total a** the other day at the drug store. He was arguing with the lady that one of the meds wasn't his and they wanted too much for the others. I told him the one med was indeed something he was on and he refused to believe me and said if we got home and he was right what about the $$ the store wouldn't take it back. I told him not to worry I would pay for it and he wouldn't be out anything. The other meds were for his blood pressure and something else I know he needs. The reason they were so much was at this time of year he has hit the "gap" or "donut hole" with the insurance. He refused (rather loudly) to pay such high cost. I said to calm down and I would pay it.

I didn't have the money ($220.00) so I just put it on my credit card. I didn't know what else to do. We get home and I show him that one med was his. And after he calmed down he offered to pay me back for the meds. I told him not worry he could me back after Christmas. I had to admit I used my credit card and I said I wouldn't get the bill until after the first of the year. He made out a check and gave it to me anyways.

Today he said he has no idea why he acted that way at the drug store. I told him not to worry about it, it was handled and we go from him. I reminded him that I would call his doctor tomorrow.

I have been worried for years that it would be dad's mind to "go" before his body quit on him. If that is indeed what is happening I have no idea how I am going to handle it. And with the fit he threw at the drug store what will happen in the future?

I have no one to help me with this (other that his doctor.) My Aunt Betty (dad's sister -- she lives out of town) is who I would lean on but she has been sick and I just don't think she has a lot longer on earth either. I can't dump all this on her. And even if I could she doesn't live close enough to be of much real help to me. So it's just me. I think it would be easier if he was going futher down hill physically than mentally -- well at least for me.

Ain't life grand? Having a pity party. Starts........oh about now........will probably last until I go to bed tonight.......feel free to join me..........

Kathy

Monday, December 15, 2008

2008-12-15T15:45:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone.

Sorry that I haven't been around. I just haven't had a desire to come post.

Dad is ok. He is getting on my nerves but I guess I am probably getting on his too.

I want to try to celebrate Christmas and dad just wants to treat it as another day. It is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. We will muddle through it somehow.

Nothing new here. The weather is good -- supposed to get into the high 50's today. With my mood it should be raining or storming or something.

I have been wanting a special something to put some of mom's stuff in. Sort of a memory box? I had a small wooden one but it didn't hold enough. The other day I found a bigger decorative box at World Bazaar and it was on sell for half price. This isn't it but it looks a lot like it. The smaller box is the one I have. Mine has some decorations on it so it's not as plain.

I'll be around reading your blogs. I probably won't do much commenting. Sorry. But that's just the mood I am in these days.

Kathy

Some Links For You

2008-12-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

Got you some more links over yonder:

I'm still around.

2008-12-04T17:55:00.003-05:00

Not in a posting mood. Just thought I'd let anyone that wanted to know that I'm still alive.

Bah hum bug

2008-12-01T18:59:00.004-05:00

As much as I want to, as hard as I try I just can't get into Christmas this year.

Just going into stores with all the decorations has me in tears. I knew the season would be hard this year but I didn't know it would be like this.

For Thanksgiving dad and I went out to eat. I had ham (which I love) and coconut cream pie (another great food) both as a nod to mom. If she were here that's what she would have eaten.

I'm not spending much time online. I just don't have an interest in much of anything.

It will be ok. Or so my dad tells me.......

Linky-dinks (LOL)

2008-11-27T13:44:00.001-05:00

Bored? Got some new links for you over here: Links, links, and more links.

Hope everyone is having a great Thanksgiving Day.

Kathy

Howdy

2008-11-21T13:46:00.003-05:00

SNOW! We got snow! Well we had some snow it's all melted now. The weather man said it would snow last night and I laughed. Woke up to a dusting of snow. The news reporter said something about an old wives tale (you know why it's called old wives tales don't you? because it is something old wives tale! LOL) that if is snows before Thanksgiving we will have a really cold winter. Hum.......wonder if that is true.

Another old tale that came true is about smoke coming out of a chimney. Dad says that if the smoke stays low then there would be "falling" weather in 3 days. Guess what? We were just looking at a neighbor's house and the smoke.....and 3 days later we got some snow.

Maybe "old wives" have some pretty good tales to tell! LOL

Gotta make some rounds and get caught up on journal reading. If I don't leave a comment it doesn't mean that I wasn't there, just that I didn't leave a comment.

Go see Dutch.....

2008-11-19T18:49:00.002-05:00

Just read about Dutch over at: My Ups and Downs of Everyday Life

Dutch just got the news that she has a brain tumor. She was having headaches and the doctor sent her for tests which came back showing a tumor the size of a walnut. I am sure this must be a huge shock to her and her family.

Please go and leave some hugs and love.

Kathy

I'm Ok, really I think I am

2008-11-19T18:31:00.003-05:00

I have had problems sleeping for years. Something to do with clinical depression and whatever. But I have learned to deal. But lately my sleep has been different.

I have started having nightmares and waking up with panic attacks. I mentioned it to my shrink and he said it is probably dealing with the upcoming holidays and mom not being here. And I thought I was handling it all ok. Guess I am not handling it as ok as I thought huh?

Dad is having some changes of his own. This I also mentioned to my shrink (what can I say, it was time for my appointment so I decided as much as he gets paid I'll dump on him.) who thinks dad might be having some dementia. So what is dad doing? He saves all the quarters he can get his hands on and gives them to little kids whenever he is out. He has practically chased some down. Oh he never goes up to kid unless it is with an adult, and the kids are usually toddlers up to maybe 1st grade. It is totally weird for him to do something like this.

I was having a tiny pity party when I uploaded the above graphics. I am doing ok. Really I am. I think I am.....

Donna of D's Designs

2008-11-10T16:16:00.002-05:00

I am way behind in reading journals. I just read over at Sugar Shack that Donna of D's Designs and Other Things has had a heart attack and had triple bypass surgery. Sugar says that Donna is doing ok and staying with her parents. Please go to Donna's and leave some get well wishes.

Kathy

I just discovered.........

2008-11-10T13:01:00.002-05:00

Google has a thing called Goggle Notebook (just go to here, and look for the notebook option). I have started to copy/paste some journal entries over there and when I feel the time is right I plan on printing it out. This will (hopefully) be an easier way to get a hard copy of my journals and I don't have to worry if blogger goes the same route as AOL.

Hopefully this new "discovery" of mine will be of a help to me so I thought I would share with you guys in case you want to try it.

Kathy

Just testing something out

2008-11-10T12:52:00.002-05:00

This worked on AOL, will it work here? Looks like it might.

Has anyone tried out old AOL codes here on blogger?

Kathy

Dad's kitten

2008-11-10T12:26:00.003-05:00

Some of you wanted to see pictures of the kitten dad and I found a few weeks ago. I should have taken pictures then because she is a lot bigger now (about a half a pound or more which is a lot for a kitten). So here are some photos. The first one is with dad holding her, the 2nd one she is trying to help dad eat a biscuit, and the last one is her stretched out on the bed.

Dad originally named the kitty Sugar Foot but he couldn't remember it. He was forever calling her something else (twinkle toes, liver lips) so on the last visit to the vet Sugar Foot got a name change. I know most of you will hate the new name but it is one dad can actually remember, keep that in mind.

The kitten was found in the middle of the road. On Highway 150. Yup, Sugar Foot is now 150. And as strange as that sounds dad can remember it so I guess it will stick. The vet used to have a cat named I40 (the name of the highway it was found on) so I guess we aren't too weird. LOL

I need to take some new photos of my cats to post. I'll work on that.

Anyone Bored?

2008-11-09T19:15:00.003-05:00

If you are bored then have I got something for you to do! Yup. I just added some fun links for you to check out over at my link journal: Links, links, and more links. Have fun. Let me know if you like (or not like) the links. If any link doesn't work let me know. Unless I copied/pasted something wrong they should work.

Kathy

Wildflowers

2008-11-09T11:11:00.001-05:00

Some new stuff over there: Wildflowers Enjoy.

Working on links for the link journal. I'll give you a heads up when it gets posted.

Your vote, my command

2008-11-09T10:59:00.002-05:00

If you took my little side poll the results are in.

The most votes went for interesting photo of the day and a distant second was Martha Stewart's Redneck tip of the day.

So I added them both over to the right side, down towards the bottom. Not sure how long I will keep either or both so enjoy while you can!

Click here to go there.

2008-11-05T17:33:00.001-05:00

Some new links over here: Links, Links and more Links.

Wildflowers

2008-11-04T09:24:00.000-05:00

Three new posts over here: Wildflowers Hope you enjoy.

Mom

2008-11-03T16:20:00.003-05:00

Dear Mom,

Today is the 6th month mark of your passing away. I still can't believe you are gone forever. I miss you so very much. I miss you so much it hurts.

Life is getting back to some sort of normal. It is a new normal, whatever that is.

I still haven't heard anything from big brother. Haven't spoken to him since the day you died. I know you were so hoping that he and I would get closer and be there for each other. I told you I didn't think that would happen but I think you died believing that things would change for the better between he and I.

I think of you so often and so very much. Dad swears he has had several incidents where it had to have been you reaching out to him. I am glad for him. It makes him feel better. I am sad for me because I don't feel/see/hear any of those things. I guess that sounds pretty selfish of me.

I am keeping my promises. Well I am trying to. I started back to church and back to the Tides support group. I am still watching what I eat but I don't test my blood like I should. I haven't gotten back to the exercise bike you got for me. I just can't yet. I don't know why. Just looking at the bike is hard for me right now.

I know that you aren't in pain. I know you are in a much better place. I should be happy for you. I guess a part of me is. But there is the part that wants you back here, where you belong.

Kathy

Ok folks here are the people that I am tagging!

2008-10-30T10:41:00.002-04:00

Ok folks here are the people I tag with the meme in the entry below.

I tag:

Tammy at Down Home

Deb over at My Take On Life

Stuart over at Specimen Days

Mr Brainwhispers over at A Brain That Whispers

Penny at Growin' Old Gracelessly

and

Barbara over at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

And the meme was:

* link to the person who tagged you * list 6 random things about yourself * tag 6 new people * let each tagged person know by posting a comment on their blog * link to the 6 people you've tagged * and let the person who tagged you know that you posted

I got tagged!

2008-10-29T18:03:00.003-04:00

My good bud Ellie tagged me with this new thingy. And even though she got the name of my blog wrong I will do the meme. LOL But you will have to wait to see who I tag for my next post.

* link to the person who tagged you * list 6 random things about yourself * tag 6 new people * let each tagged person know by posting a comment on their blog * link to the 6 people you've tagged * and let the person who tagged you know that you posted

6 Random Things About ME!

1 years ago I took karate and got as far as my blue belt (next would have been brown and then black belts at the school I went to.)

2 I passed the GED on my first try -- without even studying or preparing in any way

3 I have 2 A.A.S. (Associate in Applied Science) degrees. The 2nd one I graduated with honors.

4 I once lied to get a job. They asked if I knew how to do data entry (this was for a temp agency to send me out on a job) and I say yes. I knew how to type so I figured how hard could data entry be? (this was ages ago 20 some old years) When I got to the job they showed me what to do and it was a breeze from there on out.

5 I wear my grandmother's and mom's wedding bands all the time (on my right hand).

6 I went on a job interview once with a black eye (unfortunate accident in karate class. I tried to block a punch with my face. LOL)

Well ain't that just hunky-dorey (?)

2008-10-29T14:20:00.004-04:00

Got an email from AOL today. They are doing away with AOL pictures. If you have stuff there -- heck even if you don't think you do -- go check and download the stuff. Downloading is super easy there. But BE SURE TO GO TO THE LINK AOL GIVES YOU AND CHECK WHAT'S THERE! I was amazed to find pictures from AOL J-land's 3rd anniversary in with my stuff. Yeah, I think someone was going to make a poster? A slide show? Whatever, I was shocked -- and delighted -- to find photos there that I forgot and had no real idea was even there.

I'm still trying to clean out all my saved mail on AOL. Why did I save so much? Couldn't there be an easier way to save it? I was trying to just forward all the stuff to my gmail account. Did you know that you can have mail that is too old to forward? I had no idea. So I guess I will be copy/pasting stuff (newsletters and things like that that I wanted to go back and re-read). Have I said grrrr lately?

It's FRIDAY!!!!!

2008-10-24T18:41:00.002-04:00

Got ya some more links over here: Kathy's Links. Hope you enjoy them.

Not much going on here. I am still trying to clean out all the saved mail at my AOL account. I can't believe the stuff I saved to go back (or graphics to save).......years of stuff there.

I'm still slow posting and reading and commenting. I read more than I comment. I need to work on that.

Hopefully I will be going and getting my flu shot tomorrow. If I get up in time. The place that I go to the doctor has several half days where you go and wait your turn for the flu shot. I guess too many people were making appointments to see the doctors just for shot. And this way you don't have to pay for a visit. I like not having to pay.

Happy Wednesday!

2008-10-22T18:25:00.002-04:00

My computer has been having problems so today I decided enough. I went to this computer guy that works out of his house to see what he could do.

My CD burner was well burnt! And I needed more memory so I could speed things back up. So I get a new DVD-CD drive and more than 2x the memory for $125.00. I don't know the cost of computer stuff but I feel I came out pretty good. And I got my computer back within about an hour and a half. Not bad.

New posts over at Wildflowers.

Too Early For Christmas?

2008-10-21T15:30:00.003-04:00

Heck no. It's NEVER too early for Christmas.

I found this site via Food Network Magazine and just had to share. If you want to order anything for Christmas (from anywhere) it is always good to start early.

If you love "different" Christmas ornaments (like the one above) then you have to check out Ornaments to Remember. They have all sorts of things. From what I looked at I guess the average ornament is like $20.00 which I think is kind of high but for something really different I guess it might be worth it. I found only 1 cat ornament and am not thrilled enough to order it if it is on sale.

who's that dude with me? when did I become a blonde? LOL

Wildflowers

2008-10-20T20:26:00.005-04:00

I used to have a "something to smile about" journal over at AOL. It morphed from having funny stuff to having quotes and poems that just made you feel good or got you to thinking.

Now at blogger I have decided to go with that idea again. Thus "Wildflowers" was born. Here's the link: http://comegrowwithme.blogspot.com/ As you can see the title of the blog is different from the url but I think they kind of go together with the theme of what I am trying to go for over there.

Please check it out. Let me know what you think. Spread the word.

I can't do anything right

2008-10-19T10:46:00.003-04:00

I don't know what I did or how I did it. Can some one help me undo it?

I tried to add a counter to my blog. Well I don't see the counter, I don't see the daily kitten and daily polar bears I had up as gadgets AND worse of all I can't get my layout up to change anything. Geesh.....

I'm having a bad day so I should have known better to try something new. Earlier I tried to burn a CD. Well my computer had decided I don't need that option anymore. Grrrr........

Dad's new kitten and Sara? Sara seems to be scared of the little one. She goes and hides whenever the kitten is let loose. Dad says he can see in Sara's eyes that she feels hurt. She won't let dad pet her anymore. Anyone know how to fix this too? My heart is breaking for poor Sara (she's about 14 years old -- she's a cat in case you haven't been following along).

Dana's father has died rather suddenly

2008-10-18T18:58:00.001-04:00

I read over at Sugar's about Dana's dad passing. Reading Dana's last entry it sounds like a sudden and expected death. Please visit her:

My Photo Lounge

Kathy

Another blog link and thanks

2008-10-18T18:43:00.003-04:00

Thank you all for suggesting I start using PhotoBucket! I just signed up.

Over at Magic Smoke is a huge list of AOL to Blogger journal links. And in them I found this one you might want to check out: Where Are We Now..... looks like it is a blog by sunflowerkat321 (don't quote me on that one.)

And posting (trying anyway) my first PhotoBucket graphic:
of course it didn't go smoothly. I got some junk, the graphic twice and a big outline of a box. hmm....... I will figure it out though!

Listen up and spread the word!

2008-10-17T16:39:00.007-04:00

If you haven't found it yet you need to go to Magic Smoke.

It is: Guido (ADB on Blogger, pharmolo on AOL)

He has great tips and is working on a journal directory! Pass the word ok? Hurry before you forget!

Hopefully -- if I did it right -- this little click me sign should take you there. If it does and you won't to copy/paste it into your journal feel free.

One more thing -- why doesn't every graphic I upload stay animated? I know it's simple and my brain just isn't working right today. LOL

A new family member

2008-10-16T16:46:00.003-04:00

This morning dad and I decided to go visit his sister Betty. She lives oh 45 minutes or so away. About a mile after we passed our county line I saw something in the road (on the opposite side of the road) and I said that's a cat. Dad is like no it was just part of a possum that had been hit. I didn't agree and turned around as soon as I could to go back and see. A couple of other cars had stopped by then and this lady was holding the cutest little tiny kitten. She said she had to pick it up because she didn't want it to get hit. I asked if she could take it home and she said she had indoor dogs so I said I would take it.

I walked back to my car with little kitten and handed it to my dad. Normally my dad would have been all like "are you crazy? you can't take another cat. I don't want another cat." But h3e wasn't like that today. He didn't say much of anything. We did decide to turn back towards home and take the kitten to our vet so it could be checked to make sure it didn't have anything it could give our cats.

All the way to the vet I assumed (and you know what that means) that the kitten would be going home with me. But at the vet dad had already picked out a name (Sugar Foot) and was asking how to introduce it to his cat Sara.

We left the kitten with the vet and went on our way to see Aunt Betty.

As soon as we got back to town when went to the vet and found out that Sugar Foot was ok ('cept for some nasty fleas) and she was good to go home.

It was clear by now that Sugar Foot would be going home with dad. (I am so jealous, it is such a cute kitten) So now he is trying to introduce Sugar Foot to Sara and Sara isn't so sure of the new little one yet. We well just have to wait to see how it goes. I think Sara could use another cat in the house but I don't know if she might get jealous of the kitten. Sara has been through a lot this year with losing mom and all.

Ick, ooh......but it won first place

2008-10-15T09:57:00.002-04:00

Personally I think the words collard greens and cake should never be used together. But some misguided soul put them together and won first prize at the fair this year! If any of you make this cake please let me know how it tastes. I actually dare someone to make it. Double dog dare ya!

Collard Greens Cake

First place in creative use of collard greens. To get the collards finely chopped, she used a food processor.

2 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil, divided use

4 eggs, divided use

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups cooked fresh collards, drained and finely chopped

2 cups raw apples, cored peeled and finely chopped

2 cups flour

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup raisins

¾ cup chopped pecans

Cream-cheese frosting

8 ounces cream cheese, softened

1 stick (8 tablespoons) butter, softened

2 pounds powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¾ cup pecans

Milk

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three round, 9-inch cake pans.

2. Beat sugar and ¾ cup oil in electric mixer until well combined. Add 2 of the eggs and the vanilla; mix well. In a blender, put remaining ¼ cup oil, remaining 2 eggs and all of the collards. Blend until smooth, until tiny flecks of collards remain visible. Stir collard mixture into batter along with the apples.

3. Combine flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt and nutmeg. Use 2 tablespoons of flour mixture to toss with raisins and pecans. Stir remaining flour mixture into egg mixture; mix well. Fold in the flour-coated raisins and pecans.

4. Divide batter into the three prepared pans. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or just until done.

5. Cool the cake in the pan 10 minutes, then turn out and cool completely on a wire rack.

6. To make the frosting, beat cream cheese and butter until light and fluffy. Add powdered sugar, vanilla and pecans. Add milk, a tablespoon at a time, to reach desired frosting consistency.

7. Assemble and frost middle layers, sides and top of cake.

I need some tech help

2008-10-12T11:48:00.002-04:00

I don't know what I have done -- well I am guessing it was me -- but suddenly I can't click on links when using the Internet Explorer browser. Everything is ok when I am using AOL but not with the Explorer. I wanted to stop using the AOL but now.......I need to get this fixed. Does anyone know what might be causing my problem?

I can't even add on pictures with this browser. What have I done????

Kathy

A place to remember

2008-10-11T16:39:00.002-04:00

I wanted a place to remember Pamela aka his1desire. So I copied some entries from her journal and placed them here: Remembering Pamela.

I have also emailed the link to her daughter. I asked if it was ok and if not I will take it down. I hope she is ok with it.

I hope all of you are ok with it also.

Kathy

How far behind can I get? LOL

2008-10-10T18:42:00.002-04:00

The new journals are only a few days old but I feel like I am way behind.

I'm trying to make sure I find everyone. That's the first important thing.

I'm trying to make sure all that I wanted to save from AOL Journals is saved.

I'm trying to get my links updated and re posted.

Trying to move my email addresses around.

Gotta squeeze in some journal reading time.

And I have copied some entries from a journaler that is no longer with us so I can post them in a remembrance type blog. Not the entire journal just a few special entries.

Whew.......

What else is there? What am I forgetting? I must be forgetting something......

Another Blog

2008-10-09T21:00:00.003-04:00

Most of what I am saving from AOL will be put

into private journals. But I do want to keep up with my links journal. So I am starting a new one here at blogger.

http://manickathy-links.blogspot.com/

I am starting with some old links from the AOL journal. And I will try to add some at least once a week if not more. I would like to try to keep the links seprated by type but I don't know if that will be possible.

I haven't played around with hyper-links and all yet so I just gave the url above. It will get you there.

G Reader -- like WOW and remember vinyl records?

2008-10-07T17:52:00.003-04:00

First off thanks for everyone's help with the technical journal advice.

The Google Reader thing is great. I hit the link at the bottom of the page of my dashboard, it took me strait there AND the blogs I follow are already listed there! WOO HOO So I only have to add any that I am not listed as a follower. There are some blogs on blogger that don't have the "follow me" listed but they do have a feed link (usually) so that will get them hooked up to the google reader.

Ahh if the rest of life was so easy!

I was in Best Buy the other day and guess what I saw! Vinyl records! Really! They had maybe 10 different ones and they were NEW RELEASES! Yep. Most were music Iwouldn't listen to (Metalica) but hey, vinyl? Will it make a come back? Vinyl is way better to listen to.

I may have to put the old computer in the shop. Bummer. Everything is ok 'cept if I try to save anything to a CD. I won't do it, and the screen that shows your CD-ROM drive doesn't show it. I shut everything down, log back on and I can see the drive. But as soon as I try to copy to a CD it vanishes and nothing gets put on a CD. I might have done something to screw it up but I can't figure out what.

Oh, and I deleted some old AOL copies I had on my hard drive. Now when I reboot my computer I get some weird little copyright thing pop up. What the heck is that? I really don't care. At least I don't think I do.

Ta for now,

hey look! I got my tag at the end of my entry! thanks for your help!

Question

2008-10-06T17:26:00.003-04:00

I am a "follower" of many of you. So I get updates on my "dashboard" page. Follow me so far? The question, well questions......

How long does an update stay on your dashboard page? After you click on it and read the entry is there a way to mark it read?

I know this must be really simple but my brain just isn't connecting all the dots today. LOL

And how the heck can I get my name tag at the bottom of this entry instead of up top? Grrrr......

Found!!!!

2008-10-06T16:54:00.002-04:00

Thanks so much for all the well wishes and warm thoughts. Sara has returned!

The big question is where was she for almost 24 hours or more? Don't really have a clue. Well maybe a tiny clue.

Dad was really depressed over Sara being gone. He just knew she had gotten out somehow. But how? Anyway he was hoping she would come back. So my dad, bless his heart (and he would have NEVER done this a year or so ago) he opened the back porch screen door and cut the outside light on for her.

Sara has this little cat door that goes from the inside of the house to the screened in back porch. The screen door is kept latched.

Some time around 10 or 10:30 last night dad was lying in bed and he heard a meow. A MEOW!!!! He looked and there was Sara. He called and told me. We both were so happy we were almost in tears.

So was Sara outside and made her way back in thru the open screen door and her little cat door? With the aid of the lights dad left on for her?

Could Sara have hidden really well in the house somewhere? Guess we will never really know the answer to that. All I can say is thank goodness she is back. Dad told me (before she showed back up) that he guess he was an evil person. Huh? Because "I can't keep anything I love". I just wanted to smack him. Today he said he didn't know what he would have done if Sara hadn't showed back up.

Sigh. Drama over! Hopefully the rest of this year will be uneventful for us.

Kathy

Missing

2008-10-05T12:25:00.000-04:00

I realise this is going to sound like no big deal to anyone. But you have to remember all we (me and dad) have lost this year. Mom, 2 friends of the family, a great aunt, and dad's oldest sister.

Dad called me earlier saying he couldn't find Sara (his beloved cat of 14 years). I went over and we both looked every where. No Sara. There is no way she could have gotten out of the house. But we look around in the basement, outside and dad even drove around the block. Hours later still no Sara.

I have no idea how a cat can disappear into thin air but that is what it looks like.

I thought maybe she hid somewhere to die. But it looks like we would have found a body right?

Dad swears he saw a cat that looked like her (and there are several in the neighborhood) outside when he opened the back door. The cat took off running so we don't know if it was Sara or not. And if it was how the heck did she get out of the house? And wouldn't she come back? Or hang around the yard?

I called my Aunt Betty (dad's favorite living sister). Dad wouldn't even talk to her.

When I left dad said maybe he didn't treat Sara good enough so she left. He said he guessed he didn't treat mom well enough so she left. By now I was mad. I said yeah, you're right. You didn't treat mom well enough so she went and got herself some lung cancer so she could die on ya. Not a very nice thing to say to your dad I know. But what he said wasn't nice either. I realise he is in the middle of a pity party (so am I, I miss the cat too) but talk like that isn't going to help find Sara or anything.

It would be easier if we could find Sara -- even if she was dead.

Yeah. This year has sucked for me and my dad.

Kathy

I once.....

2008-10-04T07:38:00.000-04:00

.....was onestrangecat with a journal called One Summers Day then I changed over to a journal called Chasing The Wind.....

Because all things old seem to be going away I will start over with a new name and a new blog with a brand spanking new name.

I figure if AOL won't host journals anymore then what is the point in keeping my email there too? It may take a while to get everything switched.......but slowly I will become new all over again.

I hope changing my name won't through to many of you that knew me as onestrangecat.

That's it for now. I have got to figure out how to save the old place and finish creating something new here.

Kathy is now manickathy. Onestrangecat has left the building...

Kathy